Dear Mr. God - a job application letter

Dear Mr. God,

I am interested in applying for a job at your organisation. I do realise that this is an unsolicited job application, but I sincerely request that you at least consider it.

   Since my previous casual enquiries seem not to have reached you, I am now applying more formally and by registered mail. I suspect my previous letters may have ended up in your junk mail folder.

   I have heard and read lots of excellent reports regarding your company, which I gather has been in business for a few millennia or more. I am told that even though the salaries might at times be on the lower side, that the side benefits are excellent.

   My résumé might already be on file with you, but I include it with this letter for the sake of completeness. I have formal qualifications from various educational institutes and forty-two years of experience in life. I am a hard worker, loyal and dedicated to the organisation I choose to serve, which in this case could be yours.

   Although I work best in a calm environment, when things around me are quiet and running smoothly, I am also able to cope with the occasional crisis. I am not a great verbal communicator, but I am sure that would not be a stumbling block. According to my information, even stutterers have previously been employed by you. I do have excellent written communication skills and a considerable knowledge of and experience in various forms of art and writing. I also have rudimentary skills in animal care, which could perhaps be put to use in the husbandry of lions and lambs and such.

   My current personal situation is such that I am willing and able to relocate. Preferably, my cat would have to come with, though.

   I hope that you will seriously consider my case and I anxiously await your reply.

Yours sincerely,

Ilse

PS: Included in this employee package is a husband who is also a hard worker and dedicated to your cause.